Movie Review: Your Highness - by Blake

This shall be my Love letter to Danny McBrideas I review Your Highness; remember, shock comedy is awesome, and this movie was a parody in its purest of forms. I’ve read other reviews where people were disappointed with the amount of F-bombs and gay jokes. I guess my only question for these reviewers is. Have you never seen anything with Danny McBride in it? East Bound and Down, and Pineapple Express are the first that come to mind? Hell even his K-Swiss commercials, they’re all chalk full of penis jokes. If you went into this movie thinking it was the next Monty Python and the Holy Grail, then of course you came out disappointed, but if you go in with the preconceived notion that “this movie is going to have one too many penis jokes in it” then why even see it. “I mean you’re going to a Shock Comedy, and you aren’t expecting penis jokes? Really?” thanks for that one TJ.

So anyway… The movie is definitely worth seeing. Yeah I laughed a lot during this movie, call me immature, I don’t really care, I enjoyed the movie. Among some of the funniest on screen chemistry I’ve seen in years between McBride and Franco, you also get the always beautiful Natalie Portman swinging swords and sporting a metal chastity thong, and Zooey Deschanel playing the would be virgin for the evil warlock to implant his evil seed in to create a dragon. I really don’t want this to turn into a spoiler so I’ll leave you with this.

Quote via IMDB triva "Although the film was written by writer Ben Best and actor Danny McBride, the dialogue is heavily improvised. Director David Gordon Green said there was never a script used on-set. Only the plot outline and written notes were used.

My score 7/10

“Haters gonna hate, and lovers gonna love”

Weekend Preview: Hannh and Arthur with Blake and Graham

Preview: Hannah by Blake

So my children, today I bring you something short, but sweet because I’m typing this with a partially broken left hand. But do not worry; it’s something that’ll make your lady parts quiver with joy and anticipation. In this weeks, weekend movie preview I give you Hannah a movie about a sixteen year old girl raised by her father to be the perfect assassin. The movie was directed by Joe Wright, written by Seth Lockhead and stars Saorirse Ronan, Cate Blanchett, and Eric Bana.

So let’s sit back and watch the trailer together. Ok so it starts off with a crazy British albino sixteen year old girl in a jump suit. At this point I know this movie is going to be awesome! So in my trailer the sixteen year old ninja albino is so awesome they must lock her away in a sealed vault. Yeah, she’s a badass. Because I personally went through years of total bad ass training, so the badass inside me jumped a little when she snaps the red heads neck, yeah I’ll admit it I giggled like a school girl. Then it gets a little weird, she escapes, then kills two military officers on her way out. Now that’s not the weird part, the weird part comes when they start looking at her blood samples. Now at first I thought , she was just an entire new level of badass. Not to be mistaken for the daughter trained to be a badass super hero in Kick-Ass by Nick Cage, no this girl has something entirely different on her side. Yeah, metachlorines, she’s not just any sixteen year old albino ninja; nope this bitch is a straight up Jedi. So cut to a quick Rocky montage of her training in Russia or something, then add her meeting a hippy mom and daughter, softening her albino ninja side, then add another assassin who is hunting her, that looks like he’s straight out of Clockwork Orange and you’ve set yourself up for one of the year’s most holy shit, what the hell am I watching movies of the year. I’ll get back to you with my score and review once I go see it this weekend

“Sometimes children are bad people too” Durpdadur have you talked to any of the ten year olds on Xbox live?

Graham Haas

Preview kind of? Grahams Take: Arthur
Let me begin by saying that I was very dissapointed to find out that this movie was not in fact a live action version of the Arthur cartoon. I was excited at the thought of saying “hey!”, but all I said was “ugh!” as I saw Russell Brand’s ugly mug on yet another shitty comedy vehicle for a man who I think lacks any star potential or indeed any worthwhile laughs at all.

Let’s step back a minute and I will admit that this is all about Katy Perry. Katy Perry being with this behemoth caveman of a Brit. Jesus Christ, I started tweezing my unibrow when I was twelve, and I thought that sucked. Russell Brand must have been born with two demon caterpillars fucking on his forehead.
But let’s move beyond the fact that Russell Brand is hideous and dumb and his voice makes me want to catch a horse on fire just to erase that frequency forever. And the fact that Katy Perry belongs in a polygamous relation ship with the guys from 3OH!3, who are actually funny and handsome (even the weird one with long hair is better than RB).
So what’s the story?

Arthur is actually a remake of a 1981 movie of the same name, which was critically acclaimed and actually sounds pretty cool. There’re stabbings and irreverent humor and it kind of seems like a weird mix of The Graduate and Prince and the Pauper. But this movie doesn’t seem like it’s going to be anything like that. It looks like it has three arcs: 1 - Russell Brand is spoiled rich heir and must marry Jennifer Garner in order to keep his money, but he just doesn’t love her. 2 – Russell Brand meets simpler girl who he does love and magically cures him of his brattiness and makes him try to live without money (and this seems to be where a lot of this movie’s laughs are curbing on). 3 – Everything works out ok and he doesn’t have to choose between being rich and having the girl he wants. See if any of this doesn’t happen.

I’ve never seen the original (and I don’t really want to) but it sounds way better than this. For one, Liza Minelli was the “plain girl” in the original. For another, this, like all other movies with Russell Brand, feels like a cheap spinoff of the Hangover, right down to cameoing Evander Holyfield. And I don’t need that. If I want to see someone being Russell Brand’s stereotypical character (and also being funny) I’ll watch Jemaine Clement in Dinner for Schmucks.

So, in closing, don’t see Arthur because it’ll be a crappy movie and I have a personal vendetta against Russell Brand. Although I am happy about Luis Guzman being in this. But seriously, folks, Your Highness comes out this weekend. See that instead.

Weekend Preview: Super, Insidious by Blake and Graham

Weekend Preview: Insidious by Blake

So for this weeks weekend preview I give you Insidious. A horror film directed by James Wan, and written by Leign Whannell. Wan has worked on his share of Horror films such as Saw(2004), Saw 3(2006), and Dead Silence (2007). Legign Whannell has acted in and also worked on many of the Saw movies. The film was produced by Oren Peli who is best known for the two Paranormal Activity films, and the up coming Area 51.

Ok now that all the formal stuff is out of the way let me give you my thoughts on the trailer.

Insidious is Insidious, ok got it, they want us to know Insidious is Insidious what ever that is suppose to mean, repeat that five or six mores times in the opening ten seconds of the trailer. Ok now the trailer opens with some substance, Oh a rocking horse with no one on it creepy! though I was really hoping for a creepy looking ghosted out Micheal Jackson. what too soon? Anyway a happily married couple has a kid who appears to be in a coma or at least that's what it looks like but the doctors are seemingly dumb founded by it. They then introduce some paranormal detectives who can't find anything, so they bring in the old over tanned lady from There's Something about Mary as a Psychic detective. Low and behold what does she tell us? The house isn't haunted, their son is. So after watching this trailer a few dozen times I noticed something and figured out, just who the true villain of our story is. If you didn't notice him, don't be ashamed I'm a Star Wars nerd. There can really be only one character from Star Wars that is crazy enough to be in his own movie, where he happens plays a child haunting bastard. Yeah, you guessed it right, it's Dark Maul, you crazy looking bastard.

Weekend Preview: Super by Graham

So let's take a moment to talk about a movie I'm surprised everyone isn't talking about - Super (James Gunn,2011). First off, yes, it is "that" James Gunn. To recap for those who know know, he wrote the screenplay for Zach Snyder's Dawn of the Dead and directed the PG Porn Shorts. More importantly, he's the brother of Sean Gunn, Kirk from Gilmore Girls (who is in this movie). The man is a genius. Watch the PG Porn Stuff, just search it in Youtube, it's all great.

But let's talk about Super. After doing a little digging, I'm afraid to say it's a movie none of us will be seeing in theaters too soon. First off, it's unrated. Which is a death sentence for box office and distribution. Hopefully it will turn up in Ann Arbor or Cleveland in a week or two. The second is that for now it's only releasing in New York and LA. So if you live in one of those places, you should go see it. I don't care to much if critics or even I think it's good. The point is that the guy has payed his dues and is working with a talent cast. Rainn Wilson is the lead, with Ellen page, Liv Tyler, Kevin Bacon, and Nathan "Captain Mal" Fillion. Watch the movie just because I told you to, dammit. These people need to be encouraged to make more movies like this one

If my word isn't enough, though, consider the story. It's about Rainn's wife (Liv Tyler) being seduced by a sexy drug dealer (Kevin bacon). Rainn Wilson then adopts a superhero alter-ego to fight crime and attack Kevin Bacon, all the while trying to ignore that he's doing it for personal reasons, not out of any real sense of good or evil. In an increasingly morbid and gory descent into vigilante insanity. Also, his catch-phrase is "shut up, crime".

Anyway, look it up and follow it. If anyone happens to catch it tell us about it in the comments. Otherwise I'll update when it's more widely available or I get a chance to see it. For now, though, go watch the trailer on youtube just search Rinn Wilson "Super".

Yeah.Peace.